i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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