i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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