Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
