I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
