I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
