we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
