There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
