Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
