Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
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Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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