this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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