just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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