I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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