Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
