someone threw a dead crab at me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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