So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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