I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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