did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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