pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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