Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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