You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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