My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
