i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
