i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
