apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
