He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Panties = found
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
