i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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