It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
