wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
