Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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