I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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