You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
