last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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