There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
