You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
