birth control should be required to get into college
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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