he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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