Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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