girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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