I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
