chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
