She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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