I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
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I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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