Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
