i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
