i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
