those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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