You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
