I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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