I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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