I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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