It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
