At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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