I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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