y did u give ur computer a hand job?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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