The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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