i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
