Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I stole a fireplace last night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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