I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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