I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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