I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We got so high we made milksteak
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
